Unpopular opinion:
You don’t have bad habits,you have perfectly trained ones.
That alone changes everything. Most people think that habits are about discipline. And it would be quite easy if it was only willpower and discipline. But our habits are more than that. They’re about survival.
Your habits live in the basal ganglia, the brain’s automation center. Your brain doesn’t ask: “Is this healthy?”It asks: “Did this work before?”.
That’s how we get stuck in certain patterns. Up to 95% of what you do daily is automatic.Can you imagine that? Not conscious or intentional, but automatic.
That’s why knowing what to do rarely changes behavior. That’s why we all know how good vegetables are and how unhealthy it is to skip your daily movement, but we still do it.
And the uncomfortable truth is that every habit was once a solution. For example, emotional eating started with the attempt to escape unpleasant emotions and numb them with tasty food. Overworking was giving an illusion of control or even safety. Late-night scrolling felt like a good way to relax, because of that fast dopamine hit. Dopamine isn’t just pleasure. It’s a learning signal: “Remember this it reduced discomfort.”Under stress, your brain shuts down logic and runs habits instead.
Real habit change doesn’t start with rules. It starts with regulation, with acknowledging the pattern, with exploring the roots of it. When your nervous system feels safe, your brain becomes flexible again.
You don’t break habits. You outgrow them.
So the real answer to your struggle can be found by asking simple questions:” What is this habit protecting me from? How does it work for me?”
Change gets easier when shame leaves the room. Don’t be critical to yourself, try to get curious instead.
